Just imagine listening to this in one long string with no pauses to breathe, and it’ll almost be just like listening to BigKid. (Italics for Mom’s commentary)
Oh, hi. Did you know that I’m five? I am. I have been waiting to be five for a very long time. Did you know that when I am five, I get to go to school, and I get to ride the bus with my friend M who lives next door? It’s true. And I’m five now. Amn’t I, Mom? (Amn’t is one of her favorite words.)
Today was my birthday party. I didn’t have my party on my real birthday because people couldn’t come that day. And then, on the first day we wanted to have my party, I got sick and my eyes were hurting and yucky, so we had to make my party be another day so that my friends wouldn’t get yucky eyes too. But today, my eyes are all better, and I won’t make my friends sick, so it was my party day and my friends came to play with me and we had cake.
This is my cake that Mommy made. It has Dora on it. I did all the sprinkles. Do you like them? I love them. They are red and pink and white heart shape sprinkles, and I put them in Dora’s brown hair that Mommy made, and I put some on her cheeks, don’t you like them? They’re beautiful.
We had a pinata at my party. It was a pink unicorn pinata, and it was all filled up with candy. Her name is Sparkles, and she’s my favorite unicorn. Then we smashed her with a stick and got all her candy out. (You can’t make this up. This is what she told me the day we bought the pinata. “she’ll be my favorite unicorn until we smash her candy out with a stick!)
Oh, look at this picture! Somebody hit her leg off, and her candy is almost coming out! Look! There’s some on the ground!
This is my baby sister. Her name is Abigator. She’s just little, she doesn’t know how to play this. And it’s a big stick, so maybe it’s too heavy for her. But she’s going to try anyway. Yay, SmallKid!
Oh! She did it! Good job, SmallKid!
Oh, now we came inside for cake! I love cake. I had orange and purple candles. Orange is my favorite color, and purple is SmallKid’s favorite color, isn’t it, SmallKid? Yes it is! Yes it is! Everybody singed a song for me and then I got to blow out all the candles that were on my Dora cake. Do you like my Dora cake? My Mom made it for me.
SmallKid had some cake too, but she didn’t eat very much. Mom said that was because SmallKid was so tired. All the big kids went outside after cake, but SmallKid stayed inside and she told my Mom that she wanted to go to bed. She’s so silly! Then, when everybody was going back to their own houses, SmallKid woke up and came out of her room and was mad because we were being so noisy. But I wasn’t sleepy, because I’m five.
I like cake a lot. Did you see my cake? It has Dora on it. My Mom made Dora on my cake with frosting. It’s so yummy. We had ice cream too. Then we went outside and ate some more candy that came out of Sparkles, my pink unicorn pinata.
After we went outside, we came in again to open presents. Mommy and Daddy gave me this awesome lunchbox for my school. It has a kitty on it! I wanted this one SO MUCH. I’m going to take it to Kindergarten because I’m five. Mom, do I get to go to Kindergarten tomorrow? Mom says I have to wait until after SmallKid turns two. That’s a long time! I already had to wait until I’m five!
Maybe I got a little bit tired while I was opening my presents, because my friend T had to help me. He was pretty excited about the present he brought. It was horses! And Dora books! I love horses and Dora! And books! (She was nearly passed out in her chair, we had to keep reminding her that she was supposed to be doing something. It was hilarious.)
And then it was time for everyone to go home, and Mom said no I can’t have any more candy, and it’s time for me to go to bed now. I think that it’s not time to go to bed yet, because I’m not sleepy enough for that yet, but I had a really, really, really good day. Maybe I can have cake for breakfast! Can I, Mom? (Um, no.)
I kid you not, this is how she talks. And I’m not sure how she isn’t chronically oxygen-deprived, because most of the time, she doesn’t seem to take a breath. But it’s pretty fun to listen to her perspective on life.
SmallKid would like to say, in parting,
“don’t mind me, I’m just gonna take this for a drive.”